Evolution of the Male Perspective

In Due Time...

2012-02-03T11:04:00.000-08:00

Patience..its what they want me to have but its hard when im wantin more now then ive ever had..i get mad..at the pace, but in this race, against time, steady goes it, or else im jusss rushing to regret my past..i want it all..and thats the problem..aint no cheat sheet for success, if u want the answers, take the time to solve em..i get it..but with responsibilities, n ppl depending on me, I GOTTA GET IT..done wishin..im workin..my ambition is so relentless..word to Olu..trials n tribulations on this journey.. what real ppl go thru..so im growing, im learnin...becomin a better person while that fire inside me keeps burnin..cus time is too precious, not to capture the essence..appreciatin every moment, knowing that even my struggles are God's blessin.

Coco Loso

2012-01-27T10:18:00.000-08:00

Cups of that Loso...I be pretendin when im sippin like it aint this feelin that im feelin..then that shit kick in...so i keep my cool, while admiring uuuu, i do that from a distance..i see u..they ask ya name, u reject those lames..they too persistent..i SEE u...imaginin u home with me, then gone by 3...i love those visions..lookin bad in her freak em dress..drunk m-e plus sexy u, equals lustful intentions..i walk over, hardly sober and excuse u from ur friends..small talkin n flirty gestures...we both know how THIS one ends.."save that"..i walk off like ive done this before and u cant help but wonder.."who is he? why he want me? I cant believe i gave em my number"...cups of that Loso..me n my crew in our section...me and u, we textin..wink faces.. cute phrases, u show the girls n ya section..u see me..the nights ending, and im done pretendin like gettin u wasnt the only mission..i ask u where u headed..walkin u back to ya crew i go the opposite direction..again, we textin.."i want u to kno this before we leave, u makin the wrong decision if u aint leavin with me"...u grab ya purse n phone from ya friend..she tell u "dont do it girl".. but u kno how u want it to end..taxi......my place..we there..n u STILL bad..i see u..done talkin cus of the time it takes up..got u sweatin off ya make up..sober days n drunk nights..i swear, this a life u cant make up..

Playa's Anthem

2012-01-20T08:07:00.000-08:00

See..i told u let me hold u, even tho I knew i wasnt ready..u wanted me to find balance, i told u i wasnt steady..u tried to give me ur heart, i gave it back..too heavy..when we met, we connected...lust deposited, no love invested..i be nextin..i told u whats real, u took that as our potential..i told u i need my freedom, u asked "can i roll wit u?" the issue, that runs a lil deeper..u wanted me to believe in love..i do, i just aint eager..im with u..when im with u..u text me, ima hit u..just leave those feelings at the door, or bring em in with a box of tissue..see, i know my potential..AND i know what i want..so temporary affection is what i GIVE long term love is what i FLAUNT..i give u lust and truth and let u take it how u take it..so if u accept that, i give u effort, and our time together is what you make it..chill..lets just get lost in out moment, let our physicals own it..i dig u, u dig me..fuck whoever AINT knowin..lets just let it be with a hug..and a kiss..but not on thOse lips..u a pay to leave me alone but u kno im worth the trip..those catch 22's..i gave ur body butterflies while ur heart sang the blues..cus i told u let me hold u, even tho I knew i wasnt ready..u wanted me to find balance, i told u i wasnt steady..u tried to give me ur heart, i gave it back........it was too heavy

The feeling Is...

2012-01-13T08:57:00.000-08:00

My heart is in a place where its been hardened by mistakes..It aint that i dont kno what it is, I..I just dont know what it isss..maybe its the invisible presence, or the intimidating essence.."I love you""...she waiting for a answer when all I got is questions..her heart burning, my eyes searchin..YEARNIN..See i been thru this befo, when they aint a hoe.. so i got a heart thats grown indifferent to watchin the good ones go..its fa the best..she dont know me, she just like the cool in me..the irony is im a walkin flaw but my confidence is the allure of me..i dont know myself..see when i give in i need to kno that she gon love me for my confidence as well as my insecurities..maybe she do..but see im fucked if she dont..by many women with intentions to get a piece of me that she wont..cus i'd rather leave, than to hang on to the what could be..all i am is potential..see, im caught in a time when my mind is blind and my soul cries..where my heart seeks refuge from the pain in my eyes..u see the issues..how could u love that? All I am is all that I am..and if thats what u want then im tryna be yo man..straight like that..The truth is,"I love you too"

Love Me Not..

2012-01-06T07:14:00.000-08:00

I worry that in my pursuit of tryna show u what i deserve..i spent too much time givin u more than what u earned..tired of teaching my heart thru lessons learned with lovers that became friends, then strangers..see, thats just the danger, of movin too fast.. just so who i spend my present with can become someone from my past..im such a hypocrite..i would start lookin at her hips n shit n figure the bad intentions were just somethim we could get passed..the lust..its like, I love u..then, i hate u..i dislike knowing ur the only person I relate to..i miss u..but, i cant date u..wish u couldve been what i needed..instead of the reason the scent of love is distasteful..i think back to when we went WRONG and i LONG for a way to go BACK..to when the nights were long and postpone the right now which is a HAPPINESS i lack..was it worth it? i wanted to be more perfect than perfect..dont judge me..when u in love, u bound to go crazy n start thinkin some absurd shit..she wasnt ready, and i wasnt ready to let go..i ignored what was right for the right now and love is somethin i guess ill never kno..damn

The C Word

2011-05-27T15:08:00.000-07:00

Life comes down to choices...That's it. No More, and certainly, No Less...WHat you choose to do with your life, what restaurants you go to, the friends you choose to spend time with and confide in, but MOST IMPORTANTLY..How you CHOOSE to think about yourself as a person...ONce you decide to think of yourself in a certain way, it embodies every thought, word spoken, and action you make..If you decide you want to be a professional dancer, youtube "Catdaddy'n 101"...But whatever you want to be, or however you see yourself, you better make sure it is someone who is CONFIDENT in themself...Confidence doesn't, or shouldn't come from the people you surround yourself with..Those people are merely the reinforcements of an inner and outer self that you already KNOW exists...That confidence can't be found in facebook message, DM's on Twitter from people that want a part of you..regardless of WHAT that part of you it is they want..Aaaaand it definitely should not be found in the bringing down of others..That only illuminates the insecurities you have that you hide in the shadows of yourself..the reason WHY CONFIDENCE shouldn't be found in these places is because they are all TEMPORARY...FRIENDS..most will come and go..and COMPLIMENTS are only as MEANINGFUL as the character of the person dishing em out...And if you think insulting others is the way to make yourself feel better, than you need more help than ANY blog can offer...CONFIDENCE is found in YOURSELF..In the little things about YOU that make YOU DIFFERENT from everybody else..those things that you consider WEIRD, are the unique characteristics that others WISH they had...CONFIDENCE is building yourself UP...showing yourself that you can be PRODUCTIVE, that you MEAN something to the PEOPLE in your life..TRUST...you will need confidence to make it in a world full of pessimists..where people want to see you SUCCEED...to a certain extent...that extent not extending past their success or happiness..BE AWARE..One thing some people don't like is someone who is noticeably confident in them self...not cocky..confident...WHY? It's intimidating..and to those with major insecurities, a confident person is scary..how DARE you BELIEVE in yourself or want and strive for HAPPINESS? I mean, who does that? Very few people in the world separate themselves from people who are simply not good enough for them..not in the sense that they are "better" than them, but in the sense of "I know my worth, and you don't value me the way I DESERVE to be valued." That goes for FRIENDSHIPS, RELATIONSHIPS, and BUSINESS..whatever you do, whoever you choose to surround yourself with, you FIRST have to be happy with yourself, and allow those situations and relationships to add to that..NOT bring you down, or more importantly, bring your self worth down..That's where confidence comes in.. In KNOWING who you are, because make no mistake about it, there will be people around you (and not around you) who try and bring you down..That's when you reflect..have a conversation with yourself and say, "self, who am I?" "WHat have my actions been?" "Where has my heart been in regards to making these choices?" If you know that you are doing what's right to the best of your ability, then you can sleep at night..god intentions+good actions=Good results..ALWAYS..maybe not immediately, but eventually..Everything that's negative from the situation are just people and their thoughts that have been subtracted..fear not, those who have bitterness can never judge you..only GOD can do that..sleep knowing you strive daily to be the best person you can be, PHYSICALLY, SPIRITUALLY, and EMOTIONALLY..that's the definition of SELF MADE...The other day, I received a hurtful message..that I had embarrassed this person..made them seem like they were a bad person..and that I had a lying problem..confused much? But I quickly reflected on how this situation came about and apologized for my part in the situation..no matter what situation your in, you always have a part in it..I deaded it, and moved on..Because I know who I am..Those CLOSEST to me do as well...I know where my heart lies (no pun intended, ha)..I know what my actions are, and most importantly, the power in my words...That's all that matters..Because you will be a million different people to different groups of people..but the only person that matters, is the one you strive to be..Take CONFIDENCE in KNOWING that...

"How could you judge me, unless you was me?"-HOV

The 5 second norm..

2011-05-25T16:27:00.000-07:00

I see a future with you, where life is just beginnin..them others was just lust, this is love, cus I dont see an endin..My feelings not premature, im sure of it...Second date..me walkin you to the door, not even tryna hit...GENTLEMAN FLOW...early morning texts..."Goodmorninnn"..lets see where these sweets sentiments go...Me asking about ur life, vice versa..Tellin u them bruvas was lame, if I was them, i'd never hurt ya...Friends asking about dinner, you smiling and grinnin.."Just thinking bout you" text..We take it there, physically..Time passing, other women distractions..afraid of being another love casualty, u tell me u want more..I tell you I aint there, mentally...No matter my excuses, not enough of em to cover the bruises, on ya heart..I tell you I need space, we agree to take time apart..."Its just a break", how naive..I made you put ur heart on ya sleeve just to leave..the give n take.."Damn, did you get my message" text..got u smh'n and realizin another lesson..that us niggas aint shit..I loved u..I fucked u..I left u..In what felt like 5 seconds..

Self Made

2011-03-30T18:33:00.000-07:00

On this journey called life, much reflection is needed, most importantly with self..criticism and accepting failure are just as key in this, they build stealth..wealth, now that depends on the receiver..cus a B to A getter is a disappointment to a overachiever..them overnight dreamers, psshh..they ain't WILLIN shit into reality..they more focused on they imagination than the hard work it takes to make a dream ACTUALITY..but my temptation is the fuel that ignites my fire to the things that I desire..i go hard, no excuses, those is fa losers..life is a battle...and u gotta be willin to take the bruises..got KNOCKED DOWN, but I got BACK UP..learned how to jab n dodge, still workin on the uppercut..I'm only human, MISTAKES and death are the only things guaranteed...so im working on progressing towards my version of perfection..knowing that everyday granted is a BLESSIN...investin, in the only sure thing I know...and that's me..

The Experienced Heart

2011-03-17T19:57:00.000-07:00

Are u dating someone that you have strong feelings for? Do y'all seem
to go through it a lot more now? Does he/she piss you off? If you've
said "yesss" to all of the above questions, congratulations, ur in a
healthy relationship...this misplaced stereotype that love means no
fighting is completely wrong...the arguing that the majority of us do
is the way we express ourselves with a new found emotion...our mind
tells us how things should be, but our hearts react...and when you
find yourself falling for somebody, ur guard goes up even more...it's
funny...you would think the guard of a person would be at its highest
in the beginning of something new, but that doesn't come til the
honeymoon phase fades...the beginning is about winning...getting what
you want and attaining that feeling that you've always yearned
for..that feeling of being loved or appreciated by someone you connect
with...the crazy thing is, once you start getting those things, it
becomes about protecting urself from falling from that high...and any
time a person gets a sign that the person their with no longer feels
the same, the heart sends a signal to the brain that says "fix this
shit now"...we get scared...that's when we begin questioning things
that we never noticed, expectations become higher, and fear of being
without that person begins to settle in...so we cling, insecurities
get exposed...insecurities that we never knew we had in ourselves...we
become someone we don't like being...a person that thinks with their
heart and neglects their mind...or worse..someone so in fear of being
hurt that their mind refuses to let their heart experience love the
way it should be felt...love is great, love is powerful, it's life
changing, it's an undefinable enigma that we try to put in words to
grasp the intensity that succumbs us...but love is also about
sacrifice...sacrificing prior beliefs that you held dear to ur heart,
and truly trying to understand the feelings behind the arguing and the
hurt being felt at that particular time...it's about being
patient...and just when you think that you've ran out of it, you go
get more...because just as hard as it is for you to change the way
you've lived and thought ur whole life, the person ur with is trying
to do the same...and if they're not, this post isn't for u (see
"get away from they ass 101")ha ...I can't define love, I probably don't know
what it actually is...but I DO know that on the road to discovering
it, two minds become one...two hearts unite...and an aura of
invincibility shields the 2 of u..there is no feeling in a relationship
like overcoming an obstacle...to truly enjoy the high you feel that
love brings, you have to experience some REAL lows in order to truly
grow together...and if nothing I've written to this point has made you
want to work it out with the one you love, understand this: the
majority of problems that occur In a relationship stem from someone
not wanting to be without you or vice versa...at the end of the day,
you couldn't ask for a better problem...signed, the experienced heart...

Signed...

2011-02-02T10:56:00.000-08:00

Everything that's caused my soul pain, came disguised as all I've

wanted to attain..hearts actions and it's emotional distractions,

caused this detachment...towards love...so I've grown accustomed to

new customs...temporarily done with my heart, got a new job

lustin...emptiness to me is better than a heart full of

suffering...but don't get it confused, I understand the relationship

blues...actually, what I mean is, I'm done being a convenience... love

is just a word til I meet my definer that'll bring it meaning..i can't

give all or apart for leisure...pride too strong, soul too fragile,

memory too good to let another fuck ME up...I understand, it's not

love, it's ppl and their vices...that's why I laugh when they get mad

and call me indecisive..the games ppl play...if I give u my all, then

Im giving u the ball..and I'm more Kobe than lebron, to let u take it

and walk offff...that's why, I expect what I expect..and fa me to

settle for less wil only lead to regret...so I chill...I'll get it

when I get it...I'm busy understanding me, playin my position...im

done with games, but ima play hide and seek...Ima hide my heart, And

let love come find me...signed, the wounded lover...to be continued....

A Quote Out of Context

2010-12-08T12:45:00.000-08:00

This…is BREAKING me…TEARS falling down ya face, you telling me how u hating me…Me, pissed…acting nonchalant like yo pain aint aching me…yo HAPPINESS, I strive for INNATELY, but YOU not seeing that, got me questioning shit..like “why she ALWAYS trippin?” and “WHY I give my HEART to a bitch?”..nahh, no…I aint calling you that…Im sorry, I aint mean it, listen! Im tryna take that shit back…that’s the problem, u hold on to the hurt, when Im the one that’s tryna solve it… with you, something aint neva addin up…like I stay with a story.. and a friend to back em up…Like I can’t JUST be texting you, or I’m on some shit in the club...sheesh..we cant keep doin this…I love YOU, YOU love ME, remember that before WE ruin US…the realistic thought of losing you haunts me…Body aches as Cupid sits above my heart and taunts me..Because of our IMPERFECTIONS being REFLECTED on one another...We BEGIN to see LOVE as the reason we BEGAN to suffer… So, lets do this right..lets get hiiiiigh off love baby, take flight…I smile knowing from arguments come deeper feelings..such a contradiction…So cheers! To this old new love…lets let each other be the indent to our new beginning

The Joneses

2010-12-03T07:53:00.000-08:00

An oath...which are the words that I've never uttered..are just an ode to everything you do to me, that makes my heart stutter...since day 1, I knew our tomorrow could be great..that's why I thank god for this gift every morning we awake..I unwrap my present, which is ya presence, and smile mentally..slightly scared, that if u knew how much I cared, u wouldn't be as in to me..insecurities, not bcus of confidence..but cus other women got what I gave, u get more and more, plus whatever I got intimately...this..welllll baby thissss, is energy..this is an atom, attracted to an electron...much more than chemistry...if it was up to me, i would show u a future full of happiness, that doesn't end..u know, infinite...so forever I will fulfill my duty... which is this obligation, to my occupation..my full time job appeasing this infatuation...my imagination... in regards to our potential makes my mind wander..and thinking about my future, with my future, keeps my heart honest...loyalty, devotion, those are the things I move for to keep our poetry in motion..so ima take these scissors, this pen, ya heart, a safe, and ima hold it..because I..I love u...make sure thats forever and always noted...my sweetest thing..

THIS...well this is...

2010-09-17T07:14:00.000-07:00

Dear you, this is for everything you never knew..and everything u woulda knew, had u paid attention..not to mention, all those nights u never listened...first i thought it was love,but friends askin me what's the meanin, and me not able to give a definition..fucked up predicament...i loved u then I hated u on my bipolar nigga shit..can I get a witness..no, literally..just 1 person who watched u turn me from a bigger man, to a bitter me...ya see, let YOU tell it, I never did shit right..let TRUTH spell it, no name needed, you knew i was mister right...and I ain't saying my feelings constituted anything, but I was ur whore, prostituted myself giving u everything...so as I write these words to clear my mind in a way that my heart a Neva be..I shed tears, reminiscing on the days we said "we a foreva be"...but see..if it's one thing u showed me...lifes about progress and I a be damned if I let u turn me back into the old me..wishing u the best...I smile as I end this, because of our end, I know that My potential for TRUE happiness is endless..it's funny..as I inhale I hate u, as I ex, I thank u..shaking things up because the etcha sketch picture i painted just aint true...funny how life works...bad intentions and hurtful actions eventually led to unfulfilled words..broken promises, like you don't know what honest is...unanswered texts that left my mind wanderin...but ponder this..there will never be an us again...because the joyful pain I feel is knowing that leaving you is the only way I can ever win...THIS..this is my break-up

Hydrated dreams

2010-08-27T12:54:00.000-07:00

ZZZZzzZZzzz...don't know how we got here, but we here, soft kisses on ya ear, do u like that? The passion under these covers, unmeasurable..nah, this aint no soap opera, but its my general duty to be hospitable to ur body..so pleasurable..so as I pull ur hair, and u tell me u like that, I turn u over, no vampire, but I bite back..I do u like that..how do u like that? Good. Slow Kisses drip down ya back like water..fitting..cus as u tell me to go harder, I get harder, and u keep drippin..do u like that? Good. No, I got this..kisses in places that underwear hide, I kiss inside..I go lower..slower..I do u like that..favors, we exchange em..faces, we change em..tired yet? Good. Turn around..nah, I'm already here, no comin for me..but tell me when u cummin, it does somethin to me..sheeesh..u the fuckin best..that's what I tell u, and u believe me, cus all we do is tell truths..I owed u...truce..baby..baby, wake up...

Excuse Me Miss...(An Ode to real women)

2010-08-12T09:13:00.000-07:00

Since I encountered you, I wanted nothin more than to be around you..ha, that's how u make me feel..and to deny that would be me being less than real...all I ever wanted to do was touch you..not just FUCK you..but love you..a little foreplay with ur thoughts before going down on ur dreams...BUT you closed ur heart and opened ur legs..and what I do? Jump right in that bed..such a nigga..its like ur INDEPENDENCE has made you too DEPENDENT on urself...BUT, I understand you..because if I was you, and knowing me, I a treat ME like the wrong man too...ME..with all my pride and player ways..Never showing you that I'm thinking about tomorrow...caught up in the moment, only living for today..SO, I gaze..into the woman I see you have the potential to be...because I enjoy the puzzle in which you are because it fits ME...fitting...so as we size each other up, deciding what it is and what it won't be...just KNOW...I miss you when I'm WITH YOU...and I'm still getting lost in our POTENTIAL...

Act Accordingly...

2010-06-23T01:53:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: I love women..I am not scorned...I believe women to be God's strongest creation, because they endure things that us men can never fathom...

Now with that said, I believe that it's time to give insight into the REAL MALE PERSPECTIVE:

"All i want is a mature man that's real." So many women utter/text/tweet these lines daily..yet, I don't know if many ACTUALLY know what a REAL MAN is...A real man can look at a situation and accept his role..for example, say the "relationship" is new..ur still getting to know the person...if the roles have already been discussed, the man knows what it is..but that doesn't mean we don't know how to treat a woman..Part of being a REAL MAN is being a GENTLEMAN..which means, sending "good morning" messages before we start our day..just because we want to give u a reason to smile...we'll pick you up from work, just because we know that it feels good to have somebody there, especially on those days where u would have called in if ur bank account allowed u to...we cook dinner, clean up after, and make the plates..not because the sex is that great (although it can be) or because we're "whipped"..but because we know this isn't the stone age..we know a WOMAN deserves to have days where she should be pampered...Im talking, "don't lift a finger, let me take care of everything" kind of flow...A real man can show emotion..WITHOUT being emotional...I can tell a woman I'm thinking about her, because I ACTUALLY AM...it's consideration..its showing them that u care..and most importantly, its giving her a reason to smile...A real man knows that it's important to make a mental connection with a woman..so we ask questions to get to know you, to understand you...GENUINELY..we don't ask because we are trying to be your husband, we ask because we want to know what makes you different from the rest as well...My theory is this: I don't put time and energy into women that I don't feel are or can be special..so I treat them as such...SIMPLE..RIGHT??...WRONG...so many women misinterpret gentlemen for "THE GUY".."THE GUY" is the one that does THE MOST...that falls in love after a month of dating..WITH EVERY GIRL..."THE GUY" shows emotion AND is emotional...BASICALLY.."THE GUY" is the one that makes it "difficult" for the GENTLEMAN...alot of women think that because a guy may text them, is open with his thoughts, wants to see them or is ACTUALLY trying to get to know them that he is moving fast or wants a relationship..couldn't be further from the truth..that guy can honestly just be showing you everything you've always wanted a man to show u, yet since a REAL one has never done it, you don't know how to interpret GENUINE admiration for how wonderful you are..a REAL MAN can spend time with you and treat you like ur the only woman that ever existed..yet, can also understand that "this is what it is..and this is time together...this is still new..we have a long way to go"...

Disclaimer: Once again, I am not bitter...women are precious..all women...I hold no ill will towards no woman...and if a woman didn't appreciate my time or me, that's fine..I'm fine..I know i'm great..I'll have greatness..

Expectations...and everything in between

2010-06-21T23:16:00.000-07:00

MY mom....growing up I expected her to do certain things and to act accordingly..as i grew and matured, my expectations changed..and so did hers for me...and along the way, we bumped heads..ALOT...fast forward to the present..look at urself...are u in a situation that roles need to be understood in order to have a positive situation? If u said anything other than "yes" ur being naive...EVERY situation, whether it be friendship or relationship, needs to have roles...and its important for everyone involved to know theirs...this conversation needs to happen once..and every so often after..not a day later..not a week later..hell..maybe not even a month later...because u can't put a timeline on how fast something "should", "will", or "won't" happen...we spend so much time checking the weather for tomorrow that we sometimes fail to appreciate the nice breeze today...Im guilty of this..Im sure we all are..we look at the future..what I find funny is the stock that people put into the PROMISES of tomorrow when tomorrow itself isn't even promised...when we put emphasis on RIGHT NOW..we make better decisions...we make decisions based off where we are NOW...people that u love today may have a number you don't want tomorrow..and somebody u never paid attention to can turn into the most relevant person in ur thoughts..life is funny that way..so enjoy the experiences and relationships...let things run their course, and find the good in what you HAVE...you have to laugh at the experiences and situations you find urself in..life can be HARD..but we make it harder than it has to be..we make situations harder than they have to be...keep it simple..remember who u are..remember what u stand for....remember the EXPERIENCES...both GOOD and BAD..learn from them..and continue living for today..tomorrow will come soon enough...

FORTUNATE

2010-06-18T02:45:00.000-07:00

The most beautiful thing in the world is the beginning..because in the beginning ur mind runs crazy..but for once, this is a good thing..ur mind IS running crazy, but with positive thoughts and optimistic assumptions...for a little while, that person is whatever u want them to be...but the bad thing about the beginning is u can't get lost in it...time progresses and the perception u have of a person changes along with it...And this is where people go wrong..we get so caught up in things being SO PERFECT in the beginning, that we close our eyes to things we would have otherwise noticed had we not been laughing flirtatiously and sending off inviting signals...BUT...that doesn't mean that just because you've had ur first argument, (and probably many more by now), that u should give up...one thing i've noticed over the last year is that people are who they are because of EVERYTHING they've been through..people have problems that go beyond issues caused by a relationship..but what we do is, we automatically generalize/simplify, get attitudes and look at a person's inconsideration as them NOT CARING...instead of TRULY looking at things from their point of view..LADIES..PLEASE TAKE THIS IN...PLEASE...this is where I think the problem starts...yall give us more credit sometimes then we actually deserve..I was expressing this to a beautiful young lady worth knowing...alot of times, its not that we don't care, but we JUST DONT GET IT...no matter how many degrees we attain, or how intellectual we may be..WE ARE STUPID..it really is that simple...nobody is a mind reader, if that was the case, more ppl would have bet on the LAKERS (im still getting @replies over this..smh) BUT I digress...no matter how much we may have in common with somebody we care about, men and women are so different..there will be ALOT that we don/t get about ya'll and vice versa...but at the same time, those issues are what make relationships special..as crazy as that sounds...BECAUSE..arguing brings out strong emotion..ESPECIALLY when deep feelings are involved..but answer this, isn't one of the best feelings in the world arguing with ur significant other, and ACTUALLY being able to work it out and compromise??..Because as much as we want someone that we always get along with, who knows what we want and when we want it, we enjoy the unknown, or what they dont get right just as much..because answering the unknown and teaching them how to love us for who we are is how we track progress in relationships..so before you go saying, "this isn't worth it", think to urself...would anybody else be worth it? Because no matter where u get the person, or how perfect they may come in the package, every person has their faults...but if u look close enough, if u take the time to TRULY get to know the person u CARE about, you'll see that their faults are unique and come from somewhere deeper than u know...its up to u to figure out where those faults come from, so u can help them get over em, so that ur love can be all that..and a bag of chips..(sorry, it's late and all the 90's shows are on..dont judge me)...Before i go, let me leave u with this: Everything that we have, that we got on our own, we APPRECIATE..why? because we worked DAMN HARD for it..it didn't come easy...if success, or things worth having don't come easy, what makes us think LOVE should be any different?

"Fortunate, 2 have u girl..im so glad, that ur in my world...just as sure, as the sky is blue, I bless the day, that I found you...."

An Ode to Summer..

2010-05-26T14:26:00.000-07:00

Myth: men shy away from relationships in the summer...

On one hand, there are those of us that look at the summer as a time to do everything that we couldn't all winter, but there are those that are simply just waiting for the right person to spend summer with..to me, summer is special..although you may have responsibilities, the summer brings a certain, "im off work, what am I gonna do now?" Type of energy..the dates you can go on can be more extravagant because you can go places that winter prohibits...but at the same time, TIME becomes more precious..im not gonna waste a nice summer day, that could have been used for drinking (dont judge me), on a whack ass date..my time is valuable, and so are the people I choose to associate myself with..summertime is a filter..you sift out everything that isn't important, while keeping MOSTLY everything that you value...family, events, work, and "friends" to be exact...summer allows you to get as close as you want with somebody (or as far apart), because the dates can be special...picnics at the beach, chilling at nighttime by the lake...enjoying the view, the weather, and each other...hell...u can even just park somewhere random,walk around eat ice cream in a part of the city u have never been to and talk about the things and people you see..all of those special dates are things you don't do with a wintertime jumpoff...so when somebody tells u, "im just tryna chill and do my own thing right now," smh they ass and wish em the best..because they don't realize that they have lost out on a chance to spend a special time of the year, doing special things with somebody special.. the feeling of freedom that summer brings is a feeling that u cant put a finger on, but its there..and its felt until the leaves change colors, and rear defrost is needed..

We All Got A Story...

2010-03-25T09:06:00.001-07:00

I wake up in the morning, police sirens are my daily alarm clock. My mother is in the back, she’s still sleep from a long night of partying so it’s my job to make breakfast for us and get her clothes ready for work¬-if she goes. A few years ago, when I was an eighth-grader, my dad left. Since then, my mother has spent more nights away from home and her mornings and afternoons in the bed. I reflect on these thoughts as I take her breakfast to the back room-the stench of hard liquor is heavy. Now that I have gotten her prepared for her day, I can begin to get ready for school. I live a few blocks away from my school, so my morning routine isn’t too bad. I iron clothes for my mother and me and do homework from the night before that I may not have finished; consequentially, I work 30 hours per week, so I spend a lot of time juggling rest and homework. My eyes are heavy like sandbags, and my body feels like someone comes into my room at night and punches me, I just don’t happen to wake up. This isn’t a complaint, these are facts; in fact, I have grown accustomed to this lifestyle, seeing as how this has been the way my life has been since I was 13-I am 15 now. I walk to school, scowl on my face, because the bullies don’t pick on the kids with facial expressions like them. When I was younger, I learned the hard way that smiling gets you into trouble. I have a permanent scar on my arm where my arm was broken as a painful reminder. Happiness isn’t how you get out of this place…this hell hole. You have to work damn hard and hope for luck. Friends don’t exist in my life because when I’m not in school or at work, I’m at home taking care of my mother. People like me don’t have time for fun. I hear the morning warning bell, which is more like the “you got ten minutes to get in here before we lock the doors” bell. I notice the teens across the street standing outside the park doors. The park is closed, but the teens are out there “working”, well…that’s what people around here call it. One of the workers is familiar to me-he used to be my best friend, until a few months ago when he bought in to the belief that there was no way out for him…we have not spoken much since. As I approach the school, I notice something different: The windows have now been barred. I think to myself, “This place has finally become the prison “they” wanted it to be.” I guess the metal detectors, police officers whom patrol around the halls, and the in-school lockdowns weren’t enough. The people who look down us, that only come around to judge us, look at us like animals. They think we like living this; however, it’s the opposite. They don’t know. They don’t know that to some of us, school is the easy part, struggling to live another day is the hard part. They don’t know that some of us have seen more struggles in our premature 15 years of life then they will endure in a lifetime. Yet, they call us the weak ones, the stupid ones, the ones who “gave up on life”…If they only knew. I approach the door; ready to go through my school security like I’m at the airport and my name is Mohammed. They think we don’t know that they don’t look at us like human beings. If they only knew that WE are the ones that put food on our tables and still manage to read stories like “To Kill a Mockingbird” then maybe, just maybe, they would look at us differently. But like I said, I’ll get out of here-I just have to keep working DAMN HARD and hoping for my luck. How else do you make it?

This Little Thing Called Life

2010-03-17T08:02:00.000-07:00

I think that its an understatement to say that We spend too much time dwelling on the "donts" in life.."I don't have this" and "this person don't do that"...what happens is we get caught up on the expectations and goals that we set for ourselves..which isn't the problem...the problem occurs when we act as if the plan or goals we set need to be accomplished today...if we've learned anything about life, we should know that the plan that we have and the one that God has for us are two different plans...a simple example, you may plan life out after highschool..."I'm gonna go to college, graduate in 4 years, make friends, find my wife/husband and have a career in whichever field that makes money.." nothings wrong with that plan, and a select few of us are lucky/blessed enough to achieve this goal...but what about the rest of us? Well, what happens to the rest of us is this little thing called life...our plans don't account for life's trials and tribulations..nor the time that it takes to deal with these obstacles that God places in front of us...as a result, one feels A LOT of discouragement, embarassment, helplessness, etc...because the plan that we had, didn't match the reality, it's easy to feel unhappy, or like a failure...but the minute we allow ourselves to feel discouraged or any other way that conveys a feeling of disappointment is the moment we MISS IT...we MISS the reality check...and that reality check is that we have to learn to be PATIENT, to ADAPT and to adjust...this doesn't mean that ur content with where you're at in your life or with a particular situation...it just means that your allowing yourself to accept the situation so that you don't get caught up in the "where in not at in my life" or "Im failing at life" moments...to me, accepting a situation is like forgiving someone for cheating on you...it doesn't mean that you're happy with the person or their actions, it just means that you're not going to walk around feeling angry or sad for the rest of your life, because YOU don't deserve that...that's the adapting part...the adjusting part is realizing that "I can't be with you anymore, and if that means suffering to get where I feel I deserve...no matter how long that struggle is, then so be it...because I'll come out a better person"...well, that's what life is...life isn't about the time it takes to accomplish goals, it's more about what you do during the time that it takes to accomplish em..I PROMISE you, allowing yourself to accept what I've written about in this post will allow unconditional happiness to be what fills your spirit....so before you get down on yourself, or get discouraged....REMEMBER...patience is a virtue for a reason

I Need You

2010-02-10T19:16:00.000-08:00

I need you to be grounded in spirit, set in your beliefs...I need you to have faith in yourself, and the power of what you can't see...I need to be proud that you follow me, and trust that I will never lead you to a dead end..I need you to trust that are beginnings, will never have an earthly ending...I need you to take ownership of your womanhood...and be a woman for me...I need you to stand for something, and to know that you have a purpose...not just for us, but for the world...because I've realized that are physical connection, is surpassed by our spiritual one...that was something that I needed to realize...I almost forgot, the most unforgettable...I need your presence in my life, because love breaks and love hurts...but love is real...and with that said, I need you to be you...and let me love and appreciate who that is for the rest of my life

I love ME for ME

2010-02-09T08:41:00.000-08:00

Let's switch this up...I spend alot of time talking about relationships and pleasing someone else, or on how you should be treated...but ive failed to discuss the importance of loving yourself...and how the relationship you build/have with yourself is the most vital relationship one can have (next to the one you have with God)...and it makes sense...if you love who YOU are and you're confident in your ability to be successful at life, then your almost there...the thing is, we get too caught up in the confidence aspect that we fail to remind ourselves how important humility is...being humble takes alot of awareness...but it has great reward...reminding yourself that you're NOT perfect, that you DONT know it all, and that your NOT God's gift to mankind is important...you are ONE of MANY of God's gifts walking this earth...by staying aware of these facts, you'll spend alot less time judging OTHERS for the faults they have, and more time reflecting on your OWN life/faults and what it takes to be the person God intended you to be...there is always something about me that I'm working on...my thing is, I don't like faults...but I HATE having faults that I fail to address...so I try not to be stubborn, and I relax my ego...and ask myself, "what wouldnt I like about me if I was somebody close to me?" i address the fault, and work EVERY DAY striving to rid myself of it until I no longer have to "work" on it...because life is about progress...and you can't equate PROGRESS only by what you have...it's more than that...it's about how you treat people, how the people closest to you feel about you, and most importantly...it's about HAPPINESS...if you're not happy with your life or who you are, how could you ever make someone happy? If your not happy, address this problem by asking yourself, "what would make me happy? what do I enjoy? Can I be happy without the presence of other people?" and after we've answered those questions, let's put into action a plan that will allow us to be happy...ESPECIALLY when noone else is around...because nobody knows what makes you smile on the inside like you...noone can love you like you... because when you love yourself, not just for who you are, but also for who youre striving to be, THATS when you've figured out what those people we admire figured out a long time ago...remember to be patient with yourself, because CHANGE is not an overnight thing...it's PROGRESS...you WILL be tested...so SMILE when people or situations test the person that your trying everyday to be...I take it as God saying, "let's see if you got what it takes to be the person I Pictured you being"...and remember, love YOU, laugh at YOU smile at YOU, appreciate YOU...but most importantly, be HAPPY with YOU... but NEVER rest on the satisfaction of where you are in life...because the moment we allow humility into our heart, is the EXACT moment that we realize that there's always room for improvement...

“What makes humility so desirable is the marvelous thing it does to us; it creates in us a capacity for the closest possible intimacy with God”

Misperceptions of Strength

2010-02-01T20:34:00.000-08:00

A persons heart is a terrible thing to waste

For as long as I can remember, I thought an emotional person was the weakest type of person...Because I couldn't wrap my mind around being so OPEN and VULNERABLE...although I talk about love, I'm very closed...it takes a lot for me to open up THAT much of myself to and for another person...and that same thought process is prevalent among many of us who have been in relationships or situations...we learn how to shut down...how NOT to be WEAK...and that RIGHT there is the problem...their is no strength in being scared to LOVE...no matter how you try and justify it, you'll always come back to saying, "Im not gonna put myself out there just to look stupid!"...But by putting your heart on the line, your showing yourself that you have the STRENGTH to LOVE another person the way they DESERVE to be LOVED...because at the end of the day, there is no greater feeling than being loved as much as you love another person...A GREAT friend showed me that being vulnerable or opening up is a sign of the highest strength...to put it ALL on the line and risk your heart AND ego being shattered into pieces for another person is SCARY...it's HARD...it's REAL...it's STRENGTH

People and Pencils

2010-02-01T15:45:00.000-08:00

Whoever said being No.2 was "cool" must've been talking about pencils...

Things have changed...that's an understatement...excuse my french, but the day a woman thought it was a okay to love another woman's man/husband as if it were her own was the day things became all the way fucked up...for everyone involved...the thought process goes a little something like this:

Man/Husband: I got my wife/girl who knows nothing about this. She can't give me everything, but she gives me enough things that I can't nor will I ever leave her. Let me just tell girlfriend no.2 what ever she needs to here to make her feel justified in the things that she does and the way that she feels for me...with an occasional promise that "one day, ima be done with her..and it'll just be US."

Truth- That day never comes, and the wife knows that something isn't right. She knows that you have only been giving her half of you. While some woman with NO self respect gets the other half (no kit kat). The No. 2 never, or hardly ever thinks of the family you leave every other weekend and some late nights to be with her. She doesn't think of the wife or girlfriend at home worrying/crying/calling.

The "No.2": I dont know why he continues to be with her! I am all he needs, I just gotta stick around long enough to show him. He NEEDS to SEE that me and him are what's meant to be. She's just what happened. But this is wrong, RIGHT? NO...fuck that...he doesn't want to be with her, because if he did, he wouldn't spend weekends with me...or some late nights...I love him and that's all that matters. Plus, he told me that he's leaving her, the time just isn't right.

Wife: I just don't know what's happened. He's changing, but when I ask him, he tells me everything is fine, or gets mad at me. I am trying my best to make him happy, but he keeps pushing me away. My family and closest friends tell me that he's cheating, and I've seen the signs, but...I dont know what I am going to do without him. Besides, aint no bitch gonna fuck up my family. I worked for this...I sacrificed ALOT and put TOO MUCH time in this for it to just be over.

TRUTH- Neither one of these women will EVER get what they truly want, because they both want the SAME thing...that SAME feeling...that SAME passionate love...from the SAME man...but these two women are stuck in the same place...Both are vying for a man that will NEVER give either of them his all...they both are waiting it out, trying to be his EVERYTHING...little do they know, there is no such thing as doing it all right...because even when you do do everything right, it still won't be enough...and you will always feel like your best isn't enough...you'll kill yourself trying to please a person who isn't satisfied with the best.

We all want what we want, but that doesn't mean we get what we want at the cost of another person's heart. If a person is willing to carry on a relationship with you, while they have someone else...that person doesn't have the character to be WORTHY enough to have your heart. Because they dont have your best interest at heart, they have their OWN...and while your choosing their side, they will inevitably choose their own.

But just like everything else, there are circumstances that make this entire blog post null and void. A person could not even know that they are a No.2, although after awhile, the signs will be clear...just pay attention to them and don't let the bright light of love blind you...OR...You may be stuck in a bad relationship and fall in love with the person you least expected...that person may be a best friend and that person that you fell in love with may be the strength you needed to see that their are ways to be in love AND happy...But once you realize that their is a healthy love between you and a person that your not in a relationship with...BACK OFF..until they do what they have to do to make sure you get the %100 from them that you DESERVE...that we ALL DESERVE

Love is that thing

2010-01-09T10:10:00.000-08:00

What's Love Got 2 Do With It?

Recently, me and a friend were having a conversation about the games people play...excuse me...the games we ALL play...and it got me thinking...there are so many great men and women in this world, but the only people that know how great they are, are the ones a person allows to see the real THEM...which most of the time, is that small circle of people they surround themself with...The majority of us have loved someone, and in return, for all the love that we showed and chose to express... Only ended up with a BROKEN HEART, MIND, and SOUL...I'm man enough to admit that I have felt this...so I can tell you from experience, that a broken heart brings about the greatest change in the human mentality...these changes include everything from rules about how much you talk to a person, how quickly you express your REAL FEELINGS, and how OPEN you become with this person...the things is, these "rules" are also called GAMES...a BROKEN HEART is the biggest blow to anybody's EGO...it makes you feel like, "I showed you ME...I gave you EVERYTHING I could have possibly given...and when i thought I couldn't give anymore...I DID...and truthfully, the thing that hurts the most is that I did THE MOST, and it wasn't good enough!" that scares a person...to know that who they are isn't good enough for a person that they envision spending the rest of their life with...damn...I feel bad for you and I feel bad for every person that meets you from here on out...because they'll have to hop skip and jump to get you on a date...and they'll have to do that much MORE to get you to open up...let's not even talk about what it would take for you to open your soul and love them unconditionally...Sheeesh...it's energy consuming just thinking about it...BUT...what we ALL have to do is let go of the RULES and GAMES...I'm not saying every person you meet is worth opening up to, but when you do meet someone that you feel may be "different", allow THEM to see YOU...because who you are is good enough for anybody walking this earth...it's their loss if they're too blinded by other things to notice that...me personally, I've chosen to put all my bullshit games and rules and lies in that little box of "shit I'm done with"....I've also chosen to have quality over quantity...the problem that us men have is that once we get a GOOD woman, we dont just stop there...we go looking for something "better"...something we will NEVER attain because there is NOTHING better than ONE GREAT WOMAN...thats special..to me, one GOOD woman, is greater then a million okay ones...I dont have time or energy to waste with bullshit actions, events or people...so I have to make sure that I'm not on that...for now on, regardless of how I look or come across, I'm going to be honest with the women that I deal with...and when I say honest, I'm talking honest with my feelings and thoughts...because at the end of the day, if a person can't appreciate YOU for YOU, they're not worth it...and for those that ask, yes I am single...but that's because of where I am In My life...i cant give a person my everything, and i dont want her to waste everything on me...BUT...when I do CHOOSE to be with someone...I'm going to make her feel special...there is no sense in doing anything in these lives we are BLESSED to lead if we are not going to give it our ALL...and that's SOUL, MIND, and most importantly...HEART...so let's LET GO of the preconceived notions we have about people...let's enjoy the presence of a great person...let's let them enjoy the presence of us...and I GUARANTEE you...at the end of the day you'll win...because you win some...and you lose...ALOT...but when you do win, it'll be BIG...Happy New Year to all you beautiful people out there...and let's STOP being selfish by keeping US to OURSELVES

DEAR FUTURE WIFE...

2009-12-09T19:56:00.001-08:00

My head, my heart, mine eyes, my life, no more,

My wife, at last, nothing better to adore,

If our lives are connected, and blessed we be,

I cherish your soul, as I give mine to thee,

If one should ask, whose love is she?

I beg you, my dear, to hold your love for me.

May all ye’ know, my love’s truly content,

As our hearts we sow, together as one,

I thank God for your presence, whose daughter he lent,

No man shall scar are bond.

For in your womb, thine daughter lies,

I admire your strength, for it is you in whom I confide.

No man shall scar are bond!

This is my I'M SORRY

2009-12-09T19:51:00.000-08:00

BABY, Im sorry dont leave me..I dont know, I need help. It's not you, it's me...BABY, im sorry...I thought I was ready for this...I just..I just need...I just need space...NO! I do care, dont think that...I just got a lot going on and I dont want to keep putting you through this...BABY, im sorry...but she lying! We only kissed...I would NEVER do that to you...I LOVE you...BABY, i'm sorry...I never meant to hurt you...BABY, i'm sorry...that wasn't supposed to happen...we was just friends...BABY, you gon believe them over ME??! BABY, im sorry...i'm not ready to settle down...BABY, im sorry...BABY, im sorry...BABY, im sorry

TRANSLATION: Look, I just wanna do ME and have YOU at the same time...I wish you would've never found out...I NEED attention...and ALOT of it...im not secure with myself so I go looking for women to filll that void...I like having options, but I'M NOT MAN ENOUGH TO ALLOW YOU TO BE THE WOMAN YOU DESERVE TO BE SOMEWHERE ELSE...besides, I just gotta do this same ol' sad song and you'll be back...I WIN...no matter how much I FUCK other women, I cant even handle another man staring at you for too long...ugh, im weak...HONESTY? WHERE THEY DO THAT AT??? DO you know if I told you the truth you would LEAVE...? NAH, im straight...i'll continue to be selfish, continue to come up with new ways to NOT get caught, and continue to feed my insecurities....

At some point, this becomes a broken record that no one ever takes off the music player...Men, we've said these words...WOMEN, you've heard these things over..and over...and over...you know, I met a great woman, or at least...a potentially great woman that had been scarred by a man that she allowed herself to completely care for...Since when did love have to end with so much hate? Since when did love become the reason why women are skeptical of every word that comes out of a man's mouth? You can't even smile without having an agenda...The sad thing is, these feelings and this mindset that women possess is justified...WE allow it to be justified daily through our actions and childish mentality...So ladies, continue to protect yourselves until WE work to prove y'all otherwise...and yes, I said WORK...anything worth having is worth fighting for

We've all made mistakes, but at some point you have to grow and learn from them. The biggest misconception is that men don't care, which isn't true. A mature man understands the difference between his own wants/needs as well as the wants and needs of his woman. He understands that honesty is key, but he also understands that by making the wrong mistake, he'll lose that great woman.The problem is, that thats the minority of men...the majority-the one's that most women fall victim too is the pretender...the BOY pretending to be a MAN...the bad part is, you dont realize he's a pretender until it's too late...BOYS are the one's that I talked about with the excuses...REAL MEN don't make em...Boys live by this: "I want it all...and even when I got it all, I want more."

A MAN lives by this: "BABY, If I could have ANYTHING, I put that on EVERYTHING...that it would be YOU"

Keys to a healthy relationship

2009-11-04T16:13:00.000-08:00

Don't get offended and think the term "relationship" doesn't apply to you...what I've found out, through numerous experiences is that most people are in a "situation" with someone...very few people are not involved with anyone...and most of the time, that "someone", is usually a person that they've been dealing with for awhile... But that's leading us in a different direction... my focus today is on how to mantain a healthy relationship...a lot of relationships end, and some last too damn long...ex-friends become worst enemies, and a lot of people become scorned... yall know how that story goes...it's a broken-hearted slow song for every person out there...sooo let's get to it

"I LOVE you AND I like you- I think people get so caught up in the BIG L word that they forget about the little l word...when you like someone, it's a certain energy that's encompassed in the relationship...it's still fresh...it remains flirty...a person can put a GENUINE smile on your face with the most simple things...when you like someone, you still laugh at their corny jokes, you still try new things with them, but most importantly...you still appreciate the things they do for you...when it's only love, people put expectations on the relationship...which means the little things a person does begins to go unnoticed, and then...the little things quit happening...then arguments about the things you USED to do start...then resentment sets in...next thing you know, somebody become irritated with the other persons constant complaining, and questioning, and in some cases...you start hating to see their name/number show up on your caller id...it happens...too often...although it's only natural to want to, try not to spend every bit of free time with them...it's cute in the beginning, but it becomes too much...it becomes routine...keep your life, keep your independence...it's nothing better than feeling like you WANT to be around someone and they WANT to be around you...

Slow Down- It's like this...everything thats rushed is whack...think about it...growing up too fast is whack,calling a person you meet the same day you get their number is uber whack...and in most cases, fast sex is whack...relationships are no different...no matter how long you've known the person, no matter how great you think they are, let it happen...often times, people feel the urge to rush to a title...in most cases, for that feeling of security...so they can say, "their mine"...that's where people get confused...people aren't property...their is no title that makes someone yours...even marriages have their end...get to know a person...get to know what their like when the infatuation fades...and ALWAYS take people for what their actions show...don't try and create somebody in your head thats different then what they do...and NO...NEVER does things go back to the way they used to be...I'm not bein negative, but if your saying, "I just want things to go back to the way they used to be," then OBVIOUSLY things have changed...people are variables...and life and its' experiences...for better or worse...are what sum a person up...because sometimes, you get to a point where you realize things are moving faster than you are comfortable with...the problem is...you've gotten to a point where you're IN TOO DEEP...and the hardest thing to do is tell someone to slow down, or take a step back...that's hard for them to comprehend, because in their mind, things were moving right along...it becomes an ALL or NOTHING situation...you still want to remain cool, but you have to understand, that some people just cant handle that...with all that said, the most important thing to remember is wait until the infatuation fades and your comfortable with a person before you go talking about spending the rest of your life with them and planning weddings and ish.. "An eager beaver can be the collapse of a damn"

Respect- This is simple...RESPECT a person enough to keep it real with them...to be honest with them, even when what you say may inevitably be the reason for you not being with them, thats RESPECT...you can't filter what information a person knows about you, because of how it affects you...if it has the potential to hurt the person you're talking to, then they have the right to know...it's really that simple, but at the same time, it takes a strong person to be real...nobody likes hurting the people they care about...but it's better to know, then not know...I dont care what it is...

Of course there are other keys to maintaing a healthy relationship, ones that are just as important as the ones listed here...but following these tips can help determine if somebody is THE ONE...or just ANOTHER ONE

3 Reasons Men Cheat

2009-10-22T19:15:00.000-07:00

I feel like this question has been around for as long as men and women have walked this surface; and to be honest, if I had all the answers, I would write a book instead of a blog...nonetheless, here we are...FIRST and FOREMOST I want you all to know (especially women) that there is no justification in cheating. It's not right...EVER. Even with that said, it still happens, and because of it, a lot of women have been hurt and scorned for life. Leaving women skeptical (which is understandable) of all men. So without further ado, i'll give you insight so you can see for yourself:

3. The grass is greener...

This statement is as false as Tyra Banks thinking that she's the next Oprah. However, many men feel this way because of perception...and perception is ALOT stronger than reality. It allows the man's mind to wander and imagine. uh oh...when that happens, things don't turn out right. We are so ready and willing to fill that void of curiosity, that we justify cheating in our head. Which puts the plan in motion... We believe that what we have is just not good enough anymore and lose sight of what might've been the best thing we ever had. As a result, the girlfriend is placed on the back burner, and the side chick becomes the new toy that we can't wait to play with. Sad, but true.

2. Going unappreciated...

Believe it or not, men are just AS, if not more emotional as women. We just don't look like it. I think the biggest myth about men is that it's all about sex. That's not the case. We like to feel valued and appreciated...no real man wants to be with someone who doesn't allow him to be...well...a man. When a man decides to be in a committed relationship,or even get married, he chooses the woman who he feels he can spend the rest of his life with. The woman that he can care for, provide for, but most importantly, a woman that will appreciate every bit of it. Just think for a second, if a man didnt allow you to be a woman and appreciate you the way you felt you should be treated, that would make you feel like less of a woman. The difference is, men are quicker to run, or find an escape before they express their emotions. Trust me, if you don't make your man feel like you care or appreciate him, he'll find comfort somewhere else. Next thing you know, you're sitting at home alone, sending calls and messages that go unanswered for hours...with no real logical explanation for why there was no response, listening to Beyonce's "Me, Myself, and I", watching romantic movies that all end badly. Not a good look.

1. How can I respect you, if you don't respect yourself?

This is probably the most important thing for women to understand. Men do what you allow them to do. Anybody can be subjected to being cheated on, but if a man feels like he can cheat on you, and you're gonna take him back, then why not?! He gets the woman who's gonna be there no matter what, and the girl on the side. A lot of men don't turn down opportunities like that. It's the equivalent of being able to be single, but still have someone who's always there for you and has your back. I'm not a cheater, but even I would find that hard to turn down. Ladies, you know how before you got in a relationship you said you wouldn't allow certain things to happen to you? And how you wouldn't stand for "this" or "that", well...DON'T...Think about it like this...if it was your daughter, would you tell her to keep taking back a man that ran over her and broke her heart? Didn't think so...

These reasons are a just a few of the many reasons on why men cheat...Of course men cheat simply to cheat...it's not right, but it happens...this is just a little more insight into the mind of a man...To my beautiful ladies (yes, all of you), at the end of the day, it's not your fault and you should always remember that. Because as I said in the beginning, cheating is never justifiable...some cases may be understandable, but there is a strong emphasis on SOME...Cheating is taking the easy way out...a way to escape the problems of your relationship, instead of telling your significant other what's going on with you...to all my fellas that's reading this...don't be THAT guy...be BETTER...be COMMENDABLE...

Loving from the inside out

2009-10-21T14:44:00.000-07:00

It seems as if I've known for as long as I could speak..that she knows me..it scares me..she loves me..it terrifies me..she loves him...I love her..he wants her back..they tell us its wrong and we shouldn't do it..our feelings will pass.. but we make PASSIONATE love that couldn't be more right..and we sleep..we connect on an intellectual level that's just as strong if not stronger than the physical one..my baby. I love when she whispers in my ear, I love when she looks at me to be the aggressor and come get her..to take control..she does it like an angel...beautiful..I've never told her this.I'm pretty sure she'll read this and know exactly who it is..my adult love affair...Alicia Keys aint got shit on this..then the feelings take on a new role..what's acceptable? What's respectful? What's crossing the line? What are we? Questions that run through my head everytime we talk..but I'm cool like that, so I don't speak on em..my mistake..the games we play..says she wants to see HIM...What for? Go ahead...I'm hurt.. I back off...never thought that could happen.. I stay away...haven't seen her..I miss her..she hurt me..why does she need to see him? Was I too cool? Na..was I too laid back? Probably? I Never let her know how I felt..thats gotta be it..gotta let her go..hurts like hell..he needs her more than me..and if its meant to be..well...you know the rest

First

2009-10-21T14:22:00.000-07:00

Well. I want everyone to know that I have every intention on expressing my thoughts and feelings in this blog. From my thoughts on women, relationships, men, and everything in between. That's why I created it;however, I encourage the opinions of others and I look forward to hearing from you