I love ME for ME

Let's switch this up...I spend alot of time talking about relationships and pleasing someone else, or on how you should be treated...but ive failed to discuss the importance of loving yourself...and how the relationship you build/have with yourself is the most vital relationship one can have (next to the one you have with God)...and it makes sense...if you love who YOU are and you're confident in your ability to be successful at life, then your almost there...the thing is, we get too caught up in the confidence aspect that we fail to remind ourselves how important humility is...being humble takes alot of awareness...but it has great reward...reminding yourself that you're NOT perfect, that you DONT know it all, and that your NOT God's gift to mankind is important...you are ONE of MANY of God's gifts walking this earth...by staying aware of these facts, you'll spend alot less time judging OTHERS for the faults they have, and more time reflecting on your OWN life/faults and what it takes to be the person God intended you to be...there is always something about me that I'm working on...my thing is, I don't like faults...but I HATE having faults that I fail to address...so I try not to be stubborn, and I relax my ego...and ask myself, "what wouldnt I like about me if I was somebody close to me?" i address the fault, and work EVERY DAY striving to rid myself of it until I no longer have to "work" on it...because life is about progress...and you can't equate PROGRESS only by what you have...it's more than that...it's about how you treat people, how the people closest to you feel about you, and most importantly...it's about HAPPINESS...if you're not happy with your life or who you are, how could you ever make someone happy? If your not happy, address this problem by asking yourself, "what would make me happy? what do I enjoy? Can I be happy without the presence of other people?" and after we've answered those questions, let's put into action a plan that will allow us to be happy...ESPECIALLY when noone else is around...because nobody knows what makes you smile on the inside like you...noone can love you like you... because when you love yourself, not just for who you are, but also for who youre striving to be, THATS when you've figured out what those people we admire figured out a long time ago...remember to be patient with yourself, because CHANGE is not an overnight thing...it's PROGRESS...you WILL be tested...so SMILE when people or situations test the person that your trying everyday to be...I take it as God saying, "let's see if you got what it takes to be the person I Pictured you being"...and remember, love YOU, laugh at YOU smile at YOU, appreciate YOU...but most importantly, be HAPPY with YOU... but NEVER rest on the satisfaction of where you are in life...because the moment we allow humility into our heart, is the EXACT moment that we realize that there's always room for improvement...

“What makes humility so desirable is the marvelous thing it does to us; it creates in us a capacity for the closest possible intimacy with God”

Misperceptions of Strength

 

A persons heart is a terrible thing to waste

For as long as I can remember, I thought an emotional person was the weakest type of person...Because I couldn't wrap my mind around being so OPEN and VULNERABLE...although I talk about love, I'm very closed...it takes a lot for me to open up THAT much of myself to and for another person...and that same thought process is prevalent among many of us who have been in relationships or situations...we learn how to shut down...how NOT to be WEAK...and that RIGHT there is the problem...their is no strength in being scared to LOVE...no matter how you try and justify it, you'll always come back to saying, "Im not gonna put myself out there just to look stupid!"...But by putting  your heart on the line, your showing yourself that you have the STRENGTH to LOVE another person the way they DESERVE to be LOVED...because at the end of the day, there is no greater feeling than being loved as much as you love another person...A GREAT friend showed me that being vulnerable or opening up is a sign of the highest strength...to put it ALL on the line and risk your heart AND ego being shattered into pieces for another person is SCARY...it's HARD...it's REAL...it's STRENGTH

People and Pencils

Whoever said being No.2 was "cool" must've been talking about pencils...

Things have changed...that's an understatement...excuse my french, but the day a woman thought it was a okay to love another woman's man/husband as if it were her own was the day things became all the way fucked up...for everyone involved...the thought process goes a little something like this:

Man/Husband: I got my wife/girl who knows nothing about this. She can't give me everything, but she gives me enough things that I can't nor will I ever leave her. Let me just tell girlfriend no.2 what ever she needs to here to make her feel justified in the things that she does and the way that she feels for me...with an occasional promise that "one day, ima be done with her..and it'll just be US."

Truth- That day never comes, and the wife knows that something isn't right. She knows that you have only been giving her half of you. While some woman with NO self respect gets the other half (no kit kat). The No. 2 never, or hardly ever thinks of the family you leave every other weekend and some late nights to be with her. She doesn't think of the wife or girlfriend at home worrying/crying/calling.

The "No.2": I dont know why he continues to be with her! I am all he needs, I just gotta stick around long enough to show him. He NEEDS to SEE that me and him are what's meant to be. She's just what happened. But this is wrong, RIGHT? NO...fuck that...he doesn't want to be with her, because if he did, he wouldn't spend weekends with me...or some late nights...I love him and that's all that matters. Plus, he told me that he's leaving her, the time just isn't right.

Wife: I just don't know what's happened. He's changing, but when I ask him, he tells me everything is fine, or gets mad at me. I am trying my best to make him happy, but he keeps pushing me away. My family and closest friends tell me that he's cheating, and I've seen the signs, but...I dont know what I am going to do without him. Besides, aint no bitch gonna fuck up my family. I worked for this...I sacrificed ALOT and put TOO MUCH time in this for it to just be over.

TRUTH- Neither one of these women will EVER get what they truly want, because they both want the SAME thing...that SAME feeling...that SAME passionate love...from the SAME man...but these two women are stuck in the same place...Both are vying for a man that will NEVER give either of them his all...they both are waiting it out, trying to be his EVERYTHING...little do they know, there is no such thing as doing it all right...because even when you do do everything right, it still won't be enough...and you will always feel like your best isn't enough...you'll kill yourself trying to please a person who isn't satisfied with the best.

We all want what we want, but that doesn't mean we get what we want at the cost of another person's heart. If a person is willing to carry on a relationship with you, while they have someone else...that person doesn't have the character to be WORTHY enough to have your heart. Because they dont have your best interest at heart, they have their OWN...and while your choosing their side, they will inevitably choose their own.

But just like everything else, there are circumstances that make this entire blog post null and void. A person could not even know that they are a No.2, although after awhile, the signs will be clear...just pay attention to them and don't let the bright light of love blind you...OR...You may be stuck in a bad relationship and fall in love with the person you least expected...that person may be a best friend and that person that you fell in love with may be the strength you needed to see that their are ways to be in love AND happy...But once you realize that their is a healthy love between you and a person that your not in a relationship with...BACK OFF..until they do what they have to do to make sure you get the %100 from them that you DESERVE...that we ALL DESERVE

Love is that thing

What's Love Got 2 Do With It?

Recently, me and a friend were having a conversation about the games people play...excuse me...the games we ALL play...and it got me thinking...there are so many great men and women in this world, but the only people that know how great they are, are the ones a person allows to see the real THEM...which most of the time, is that small circle of people they surround themself with...The majority of us have loved someone, and in return, for all the love that we showed and chose to express... Only ended up with a BROKEN HEART, MIND, and SOUL...I'm man enough to admit that I have felt this...so I can tell you from experience, that a broken heart brings about the greatest change in the human mentality...these changes include everything from rules about how much you talk to a person, how quickly you express your REAL FEELINGS, and how OPEN you become with this person...the things is, these "rules" are also called GAMES...a BROKEN HEART is the biggest blow to anybody's EGO...it makes you feel like, "I showed you ME...I gave you EVERYTHING I could have possibly given...and when i thought I couldn't give anymore...I DID...and truthfully, the thing that hurts the most is that I did THE MOST, and it wasn't good enough!" that scares a person...to know that who they are isn't good enough for a person that they envision spending the rest of their life with...damn...I feel bad for you and I feel bad for every person that meets you from here on out...because they'll have to hop skip and jump to get you on a date...and they'll have to  do that much MORE to get you to open up...let's not even talk about what it would take for you to open your soul and love them unconditionally...Sheeesh...it's energy consuming just thinking about it...BUT...what we ALL have to do is let go of the RULES and GAMES...I'm not saying every person you meet is worth opening up to, but when you do meet someone that you feel may be "different", allow THEM to see YOU...because who you are is good enough for anybody walking this earth...it's their loss if they're too blinded by other things to notice that...me personally, I've chosen to put all my bullshit games and rules and lies in that little box of "shit I'm done with"....I've also chosen to have quality over quantity...the problem that us men have is that once we get a GOOD woman, we dont just stop there...we go looking for something "better"...something we will NEVER attain because there is NOTHING better than ONE GREAT WOMAN...thats special..to me, one GOOD woman, is greater then a million okay ones...I dont have time or energy to waste with bullshit actions, events or people...so I have to make sure that I'm not on that...for now on, regardless of how I look or come across, I'm going to be honest with the women that I deal with...and when I say honest, I'm talking honest with my feelings and thoughts...because at the end of the day, if a person can't appreciate YOU for YOU, they're not worth it...and for those that ask, yes I am single...but that's because of where I am In My life...i cant give a person my everything, and i dont want her to waste everything on me...BUT...when I do CHOOSE to be with someone...I'm going to make her feel special...there is no sense in doing anything in these lives we are BLESSED to lead if we are not going to give it our ALL...and that's SOUL, MIND, and most importantly...HEART...so let's LET GO of the preconceived notions we have about people...let's enjoy the presence of a great person...let's let them enjoy the presence of us...and I GUARANTEE you...at the end of the day you'll win...because you win some...and you lose...ALOT...but when you do win, it'll be BIG...Happy New Year to all you beautiful people out there...and let's STOP being selfish by keeping US to OURSELVES

DEAR FUTURE WIFE...

My head, my heart, mine eyes, my life, no more,

My wife, at last, nothing better to adore,

If our lives are connected, and blessed we be,

I cherish your soul, as I give mine to thee,

If one should ask, whose love is she?

I beg you, my dear, to hold your love for me.

2

May all ye’ know, my love’s truly content,

As our hearts we sow, together as one,

I thank God for your presence, whose daughter he lent,

No man shall scar are bond.

For in your womb, thine daughter lies,

I admire your strength, for it is you in whom I confide.

No man shall scar are bond!

This is my I'M SORRY

BABY, Im sorry dont leave me..I dont know, I need help. It's not you, it's me...BABY, im sorry...I thought I was ready for this...I just..I just need...I just need space...NO! I do care, dont think that...I just got a lot going on and I dont want to keep putting you through this...BABY, im sorry...but she lying! We only kissed...I would NEVER do that to you...I LOVE you...BABY, i'm sorry...I never meant to hurt you...BABY, i'm sorry...that wasn't supposed to happen...we was just friends...BABY, you gon believe them over ME??! BABY, im sorry...i'm not ready to settle down...BABY, im sorry...BABY, im sorry...BABY, im sorry

TRANSLATION: Look, I just wanna do ME and have YOU at the same time...I wish you would've never found out...I NEED attention...and ALOT of it...im not secure with myself so I go looking for women to filll that void...I like having options, but I'M NOT MAN ENOUGH TO ALLOW YOU TO BE THE WOMAN YOU DESERVE TO BE SOMEWHERE ELSE...besides, I just gotta do this same ol' sad song and you'll be back...I WIN...no matter how much I FUCK other women, I cant even handle another man staring at you for too long...ugh, im weak...HONESTY? WHERE THEY DO THAT AT??? DO you know if I told you the truth you would LEAVE...? NAH, im straight...i'll continue to be selfish, continue to come up with new ways to NOT get caught, and continue to feed my insecurities....

At some point, this becomes a broken record that no one ever takes off the music player...Men, we've said these words...WOMEN, you've heard these things over..and over...and over...you know, I met a great woman, or at least...a potentially great woman that had been scarred by a man that she allowed herself to completely care for...Since when did love have to end with so much hate? Since when did love become the reason why women are skeptical of every word that comes out of a man's mouth? You can't even smile without having an agenda...The sad thing is, these feelings and this mindset that women possess is justified...WE allow it to be justified daily through our actions and childish mentality...So ladies, continue to protect yourselves until WE work to prove y'all otherwise...and yes, I said WORK...anything worth having is worth fighting for

We've all made mistakes, but at some point you have to grow and learn from them. The biggest misconception is that men don't care, which isn't true. A mature man understands the difference between his own wants/needs as well as the wants and needs of his woman. He understands that honesty is key, but he also understands that by making the wrong mistake, he'll lose that  great woman.The problem is, that thats the minority of men...the majority-the one's that most women fall victim too is the pretender...the BOY pretending to be a MAN...the bad part is, you dont realize he's a pretender until it's too late...BOYS are the one's that I talked about with the excuses...REAL MEN don't make em...Boys live by this: "I want it all...and even when I got it all, I want more."

A MAN lives by this: "BABY, If I could have ANYTHING, I put that on EVERYTHING...that it would be YOU"

Keys to a healthy relationship

Don't get offended and think the term "relationship" doesn't apply to you...what I've found out, through numerous experiences is that most people are in a "situation" with someone...very few people are not involved with anyone...and most of the time, that "someone", is usually a person that they've been dealing with for awhile... But that's leading us in a different direction... my focus today is on how to mantain a healthy relationship...a lot of relationships end, and some last too damn long...ex-friends become worst enemies, and a lot of people become scorned... yall know how that story goes...it's a broken-hearted slow song for every person out there...sooo let's get to it

•  "I LOVE you AND I like you- I think people get so caught up in the BIG L word that they forget about the little l word...when you like someone, it's a certain energy that's encompassed in the relationship...it's still fresh...it remains flirty...a person can put a GENUINE smile on your face with the most simple things...when you like someone, you still laugh at their corny jokes, you still try new things with them, but most importantly...you still appreciate the things they do for you...when it's only love, people put expectations on the relationship...which means the little things a person does begins to go unnoticed, and then...the little things quit happening...then arguments about the things you USED to do start...then resentment sets in...next thing you know, somebody become irritated with the other persons constant complaining, and questioning, and in some cases...you start hating to see their name/number show up on your caller id...it happens...too often...although it's only natural to want to, try not to spend every bit of free time with them...it's cute in the beginning, but it becomes too much...it becomes routine...keep your life, keep your independence...it's nothing better than feeling like you WANT to be around someone and they WANT to be around you...

• Slow Down-  It's like this...everything thats rushed is whack...think about it...growing up too fast is whack,calling a person you meet the same day you get their number is uber whack...and in most cases, fast sex is whack...relationships are no different...no matter how long you've known the person, no matter how great you think they are, let it happen...often times, people feel the urge to rush to a title...in most cases, for that feeling of security...so they can say, "their mine"...that's where people get confused...people aren't property...their is no title that makes someone yours...even marriages have their end...get to know a person...get to know what their like when the infatuation fades...and ALWAYS take people for what their actions show...don't try and create somebody in your head thats different then what they do...and NO...NEVER does things go back to the way they used to be...I'm not bein negative, but if your saying, "I just want things to go back to the way they used to be," then OBVIOUSLY things have changed...people are variables...and life and its' experiences...for better or worse...are what sum a person up...because sometimes, you get to a point where you realize things are moving faster than you are comfortable with...the problem is...you've gotten to a point where you're IN TOO DEEP...and the hardest thing to do is tell someone to slow down, or take a step back...that's hard for them to comprehend, because in their mind, things were moving right along...it becomes an ALL or NOTHING situation...you still want to remain cool, but you have to understand, that some people just cant handle that...with all that said, the most important thing to remember is wait until the infatuation fades and your comfortable with a person before you go talking about spending the rest of your life with them and planning weddings and ish.. "An eager beaver can be the collapse of a damn"

• Respect- This is simple...RESPECT a person enough to keep it real with them...to be honest with them, even when what you say may inevitably be the reason for you not being with them, thats RESPECT...you can't filter what information a person knows about you, because of how it affects you...if it has the potential to hurt the person you're talking to, then they have the right to know...it's really that simple, but at the same time, it takes a strong person to  be real...nobody likes hurting the people they care about...but it's better to know, then not know...I dont care what it is...

Of course there are other keys to maintaing a healthy relationship, ones that are just as important as the ones listed here...but following these tips can help determine if somebody is THE ONE...or just ANOTHER ONE